10 Reasons Why Facebook Sucks

Okay so I deleted my Facebook account a few months ago (for the second time) and ever since my life is in peace. True I was intrigued by Facebook in the start and I found myself playing every quiz, uploading my stupid self-shots every other week and going nuts for notifications & those little red inbox messages. But soon it started to get on my nerves and within a year of creating an account, I have already deactivated it twice. You gotta praise Mark Zuckerberg for his ingenuity though, he lets you deactivate your account only temporarily – a bait which tempts you to rejoin after a week or month. Urgg…

Keeping my personal rant aside, here are my 10 reasons on why I think Facebook sucks BIG TIME!

 1. Crazy Stalkers

♦ You stalk your childhood crush AND her cute friend (just in case your crush decides to ditch you).

♦ You also stalk that totally sexy & chic girl you saw in another distant friend’s friend list.

♦  That girl stalks the rich guy.

♦ In fact, you, as a guy, stalk everything and anything that has something to do with the female gender.

♦ Also you absolutely love it  when a pretty girl stalks you and inwardly picture her going gaga for you.

→ On the other hand

♦ Your ammi ji stalks you.

♦ Your abu stalks your ammi to keep an eye on her.

♦ Your boss (wants to) stalk you.

♦ Your siblings stalk your parents & you.
Everyone stalks everyone, yeah!

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2. Facebook Addicts

This is the kind that annoys me most. This is the group of the people that has taken leave of its senses and deserves a good verbal abuse. They talk about Facebook all the time, they think about it, they even dream about it (true story).

You would see them going around:

♦  Yo boy, have you done the computer assignment? Paste it… like… on my wall? 

♦  What time do you come to play today? Facebook me, k?

♦  Hey FB chat pa aa yaar, aik bachi ki pic check kerata hoon

♦  Yaar ye aik pic tu lai, FB pe lagani hai. Dasti!

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3. Facebook Fanguage

♦  Yaar teri DP dekhi, bara X hai bhai ka

♦  Bhai ka status: Aaj tu next level ho gaya college mai akheer hi shugal laga Maths ki teacher k sath. Tere bhai ney aisa shashka daala ke full scene-part on gaya

    ♦ Yo boy, aaj tu yo-mahol ho gaya

    ♦  Kya scene hai? Wi-fi scene hai

    ♦ Chill maaro

It is so nauseating that I am afraid I will throw up if I gave any more examples.

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4. The Perfect Lifers

A confession here; this is the kind of people that forced me to stay away from Facebook for weeks at first and finally delete my account. These people upload the bragging statuses about how perfect their life is. How perfectly they dress up, how perfect is their hubby and all that crap. It is almost that they come on Facebook to thank God & offer 2 rak’at nafal in the form of ‘what’s on your mind’. Makes me wonder if you have such a perfect life, why do you sit on your bum and refresh your FB page all day long? Go get a life already, I heard it is perfect.

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5. Look-at-me-look-at-me type

 Let us all give credit to Facebook because if it wasn’t for it, everyone would be embarrassed to take self-shots. Not only we are not not embarrassed, we also believe that our self-shots make us look better than the picture taken by someone who can’t even hold the camera straight. Such an attention-starved Facebook geek proudly takes the self-shot photos every other day and keeps refreshing his page in the hopes of getting more and more likes.

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        6. The newly-engaged girlfriends

         Another annoying lot that makes rest of us single people rake over coals. We get mammoth pangs of  jealousy when one of our friends gets engaged and immediately her hitherto single ‘DPs’ convert into the real cuddly ones with her hubby-to-be. 

If my words matter to you one bit, this alone is one very good reason for you to terminate my account.

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7. The Honeymooners

 Now your friend is married and she is off to her honeymoon but much to your annoyance, she has made sure she has updated her status saying;

Having the time of my life in Europe. Oh he is soooOOooOoOOOooOOo nice. Thank you @hubby dear (here she tags him even though she can tell him in person but no!). Love you’

Not just that, she will make sure that she group-uploads those tons of photos she takes with her hubby dear on every stupid spot in as stupid (read: intimate) pose as the surrounding would permit. *Barfs*

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8. The Proud Mommies

Now almost all of your friends are married and have become a parent. You will see their status changing like this:

Oh I am so proud my 2 years old peed in (and not on) the toilet seat all by himself today. I feel so emotional that tears float in my eyes and while I was crying (and he was busy peeing), I thought to upload a very stupid status that makes no sense otherwise. Oh and here is his picture. *Sniff sniff*

These mommies are so waili naaa… it is a pain to tolerate them in your account hence the DELETE option.

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9.  Annoying Advertisements

 Apparently Mark Zuckerberg is not satisfied being a billionare, thus the annoying Facebook advertisements. For an advertiser these might be a wonderful marketing opportunity but for average users, these are nothing more than a nuisance.

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10.       Facebook Chat

 ‘Nuff said